Posted in Editorials

What you don’t know won’t hurt you

If you cheat on your partner and he or she never finds out, no one gets hurt. So they say. I’m not sanctioning this thought. But, maybe not knowing what ultimately could lead to a broken relationship and family, filled with severe emotional pain and suffering, is better than knowing and tearing apart what you have, marred by a foolish mistake.

Does the same go for your body? What if you had an illness or disease and never found out what it was. Would it make your life better not knowing, or worse being left in the dark about your health?

I recently met a couple who shared with me their love history together.  They met as teenagers at their local hometown diner where she was a waitress and he was just stopping in with friends to grab a quick bite to eat. Long behold, they connected and went on their first date a week later. A year later they were hopelessly in love. 5 years later they were moving in together. 7 years later they were married and 10 years later they were having their first child.

25 years later the man was healthy as can be, but oddly began experiencing symptoms of memory loss and confusion.   His wife thought going to see a neurologist would help steer them to what was going on. Before his visit to the neurologist’s office, he told his wife he would go in and explain his symptoms, but when it came time for a diagnosis, he wanted her to receive the official diagnosis or explanation of what was happening to him, while he stepped out of the room.  She asked him if he was sure, he said yes and she agreed.

The neurologist did his examination and was on the tip of telling the couple what was wrong, when the man stopped him and told him to wait while he stepped out. Baffled by what was going on, the neurologist insisted he come back in. His wife told the doctor that was his wish and he wanted her to receive the diagnosis for him. So she did. After getting the diagnosis, they drove home and all she said to him was; it’s all going to be fine. You are going to be fine.

2 years later, the man’s symptoms slowly began diminishing. He was eating healthier, exercising every day and began practicing meditation- all on the wise advice of his wife.

Now, he’s symptom free, like nothing ever happened.

Now, it took a lot of guts for his wife to take on the burden of his diagnosis, and not everyone could do that. But, ultimately, his illness was reversed just by him thinking he was totally fine and never finding out what was actually wrong.   He never learned what the neurologist told his wife, nor did his wife disclose it me.

The point of the story is; our minds are capable of so much more than we realize. The power we can unleash just thinking positive, feeling positive and being positive is relentless.

Receiving bad news has a profound effect on our physical and mental health. Our brains filter negative images and words, and induce feelings of anger, depression, anxiety or sadness, which in turn affects our bodies.  This is what stress is.  When stress begins to flow through our bodies, ailments begin to unfold, aches and pains begin and we search for answers as to why.

Now, we can never completely shut off or sensor bad news. We cannot run from life.  Financial troubles, medical issues, relationship struggles and work stress is all part of life and sometimes it makes us a better person, stronger and more attuned to life, to take it all in and deal with it head on.

It may be better to learn about your illness, accept it and face it head on, as it would be to know your partner has cheated on you, accept it and move on.

But in some cases, it can only progress what you are trying to avoid from happening. The couple wanted to avoid the man’s illness from getting worse, so he turned his mind toward positive reinforcements. He never once believed he had any illness and he listened to his wife saying everything would be fine.

Any physician reading this may say, “Have you totally lost it? You have to know what’s wrong with you. You need to know your diagnosis in order to get better.”

But what about people in the middle ages who didn’t have access to physicians, or before enough studies were conducted to even be able to give a proper medical diagnosis. What did those people rely on? Some believed our bodies related to the four elements of earth, air, fire and water, ancient Chinese Medicine talks about channeling our chi to restore balance and rid ourselves of sickness, and some believed in the higher spirits to make it all better.

Medicine has come a long way since then and we are more capable now of knowing and understanding human anatomy than we were before. But maybe revisiting how they did things in the olden days isn’t so bad. They relied on the power of their own bodies and minds.

I did ask the woman, if her husband get worse or his symptoms never disappeared, would she then tell him. Her response was; “I never once believed he wouldn’t get better.”

That is the power of believing.

 

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Author:

I am an independent filmmaker and producer and freelance writer. I received my Bachelors degree in Journalism from Hofstra University, a Masters degree in Communications and Film Productions from the New York Institute of Technology and I am a former graduate of the New York Film Academy in New York City. I have experience as on-air TV reporter for NYIT’s LI News Tonight News Station. and have written opt editorials on various topics for Caribbean newspapers and magazines. I've also worked in the radio industry as a producer, board engineer, and newscaster at WRHU Hofstra University, 1240AM WGBB, and 930AM WPAT. I am currently the Vice President of Friends of New York’s West Indian Community, a non-profit organization aiming to uplift the Indo-Caribbean Community and work at St. Mary's Healthcare System for Children as the Manager of Marketing and Communications.

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